today at work someone tipped me a potato
in some countries that is a marriage proposal
Even the potato looks confused
MY BROTHER JUST WALKED INTO MY ROOM AND HE HAD A LIGHT BULB IN HIS MOUTH AND I WAS LIKE “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING” AND HE GOES “I WAS HAVING A LIGHT SNACK” AND LEAVES I’M DONE
MY DAD JUST CAME IN WITH A LIGHT BULB TOO AND MY BROTHER SHOUTS “I ALREADY DID THAT JOKE” AND NOW MY DAD IS ANGRY AT MY BROTHER WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY FAMILY
my goal is to be the ‘we didn’t notice her in highschool but damn we should’ve’ girl
"What does the chef recommend?"
"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"
the government should tax single straight men
that fee when no gf
It’s -10 outside please stop wearing basketball shorts. We get It you’re straight